articulate

Criticisms, complaints, and perennial annoyances aired out.

<back

DIESEL ad.
Quite possibly the most idiotic clothing ad I have ever seen in my entire life. One has to wonder if the intended audience is really that vapid, shallow, and materialistic, or if the ad designers were intentionally insulting the intelligence of Bay Area Guardian readers.
Considering that this is, after all, the San Franciso Bay Area, one could conceivably tend towards the first possibility. My question is, did they tell that sultry-looking brunette how dumb the slogan was when they hired her to accompany it?

celphone commuters.
Hello? I'm quietly meditating on my upcoming work day, and you're already on the phone publicly bossing around people at your office. Chill out! Let your unworthy peons relax a little so the rest of us can get some peace and quiet!

Spiked Hair.
Eight-inch orange spikes I can live with (especially if accompanied by studded bike leathers), but how about those normal, everyday guys who just can't seem to stop dipping into the extra-hold gel? What's their excuse, I'd like to know. Not only did the spiked look go out with the eighties, I have a hard time figuring out how it ever got inin the first place. Do their girlfriends actually like touching that stiff, spiny-feeling do? Eww, gross.

NoCal Flakiness.
East Coasters, I'm sure many of you will agree with me: aren't people in California really flaky? Those of you who have been out West for a while are already acclimated and need not answer (read: you're flaky.)
It is impossible to make plans with anyonemore than a week ahead of time. It's simply not done. I've tried forcing commitments out of Californians; it's like pulling teeth. Extreme vagueness with intent to avoid commitment is apparently socially acceptable behavior. Grow up California, you're not cool: you're just rude.

Phantom Menace.
Yes, I know the whole thing is his baby, but did Lucas have to direct? Did they hafta make all those toys? There's money to be made, no question, but doing so has the unfortunate effect of turning the most eagerly awaited cinematic experience of the decade into a cheap commercial venture (question: would we have been subjected to the odious Jar-Jar if the people responsible hadn't thought the action figure would be a huge sell?). George, try watching the Charlie Brown Christmas Special one more time, please.

Need more cynicism? Try TheOnion.com.

Return to: Creative Procrastination > Random Acts of Insanity

Criticisms, complaints, and perennial annoyances aired out.
<back
DIESEL ad. Quite possibly the most idiotic clothing ad I have ever seen in my entire life. One has to wonder if the intended audience is really that vapid, shallow, and materialistic, or if the ad designers were intentionally insulting the intelligence of Bay Area Guardian readers. Considering that this is, after all, the San Franciso Bay Area, one could conceivably tend towards the first possibility. My question is, did they tell that sultry-looking brunette how dumb the slogan was when they hired her to accompany it?
celphone commuters. Hello? I'm quietly meditating on my upcoming work day, and you're already on the phone publicly bossing around people at your office. Chill out! Let your unworthy peons relax a little so the rest of us can get some peace and quiet!
Spiked Hair. Eight-inch orange spikes I can live with (especially if accompanied by studded bike leathers), but how about those normal, everyday guys who just can't seem to stop dipping into the extra-hold gel? What's their excuse, I'd like to know. Not only did the spiked look go out with the eighties, I have a hard time figuring out how it ever got inin the first place. Do their girlfriends actually like touching that stiff, spiny-feeling do? Eww, gross.
NoCal Flakiness. East Coasters, I'm sure many of you will agree with me: aren't people in California really flaky? Those of you who have been out West for a while are already acclimated and need not answer (read: you're flaky.) It is impossible to make plans with anyonemore than a week ahead of time. It's simply not done. I've tried forcing commitments out of Californians; it's like pulling teeth. Extreme vagueness with intent to avoid commitment is apparently socially acceptable behavior. Grow up California, you're not cool: you're just rude.
Phantom Menace. Yes, I know the whole thing is his baby, but did Lucas have to direct? Did they hafta make all those toys? There's money to be made, no question, but doing so has the unfortunate effect of turning the most eagerly awaited cinematic experience of the decade into a cheap commercial venture (question: would we have been subjected to the odious Jar-Jar if the people responsible hadn't thought the action figure would be a huge sell?). George, try watching the Charlie Brown Christmas Special one more time, please.
Need more cynicism? Try TheOnion.com.